i don't know what's worse. feeling this shitty or knowing that going back to your house wouldn't make me feel better. the latter stings and bites and makes me want to die. i want to have someone to make it all better, i wan tto have someone who makes my life better, and you did. or you do i don't know i know that i can't date you and i guess right now that's all i need to know, i wish i knew if we're going to be friends, if we'll joke about how we dated, or if maybe we'll end up together later. its a msall irrational comfort.

i guess i still don't see what you see in her. trucker hat, crooked smile. she' so much of everything you never wanted. she so much of a...dirty boy. sure i'm not put together, hell most of my puzzle is probably still in production, but at least i'm not. god. i'm not that.

i cannot stand men.

but damn it.


i am so attracted to the entire gender. its so intriguing, and as we all know intrigue is the first step to sex. or something. go daniel. you suck.

i like my pink hair. i missed her. she's back though, so that's nice. my hair i mean.


fuck apathy. go stoners. go pill poppers. go snorters. go fuck yourself up. we all know i am.

How am I?: amused
What do i listen to?: avril. i'm sad.

hey folks. i have concert tickets i'm trying to sell!


I'm literally just trying to make back what i spent, so they're going for 35 each. which is less than i made but i need to sell them.


They're for the 89x stole christmas concert, December 14 @ 5 at the Cobo centre in detroit


taking back sunday, my chemical romance, ready, go, and angels and airwaves.

call me 269.330.5067
or
email me jordan.g.blough-orr@wmich.edu
or
reply here!

its been a long while again. approriately so i guess. This journal hasn't done much but stir up trouble.


i'm strugging with school, hopefully i'll be transfering to ferris state next year. All i need is one date to submit the application. I have to come up with almost seven thousand dollars. Hopefully that can happen too. I really need it.


doug and i are going well. he's going to ferris too. i dunno. my mom can't stop me if she doesn't have to pay for anything.

i literally get sick to my stomach. i have yet to vomit, but, to be sure, i wouldn't be surprised if i did soon. fuck girls.



dougllassss is amazing. last night was great. there are always moments when its hard and i wish it wasn't; but then he just does things like he did last night and its all peachy and perfect. and he lets me spend the night and will drive to my dorm just to drive me to the bottom of the hill so i can get my car.

and he called me his angel all night and was like "i made a really big mistake to think that i could ever leave you." and sheeeeesssh.

love him. and he kept calling me his girl. and his only one. and his and such. and not like i'm his property, but his. <3

plus he was all ticklish so if he got too frisky i could tickle him.

he likes my tattoo now. so do i. :)


he told me how hot i was too. and what a great body i have. i love him on days like that. but i love him on days when i want to kill him too.

And i'll drink and smoke just like a kindergarden teacher is supposed to. Menthol cigarettes and beer. Undo a few buttons on my white blouse, smooth the wrinkles in my tweed pencil skirt. Spin a few times on the stool to remind myself i don't just steal childhood.



my dad said i should just be a writer. that man could save my life.

What do i listen to?: Autobiography - Ashlee Simpson

" my girl's a hot girl...she wants a riot she wants a riot."


there are days when i catch a smell of her.


then i look next to me, and see him.

tall, dark, handsome, old soul.


and i'm still so mad.



"don't you know that all i really want is you. god i know that i really want is you."



"she's pissed off at everyone."


school's ridiculous.

I'm running away to seattle, or australia. i haven't decided yet.

How am I?: irritated
What do i listen to?: Riot Girl - Good Charlotte

All guys, sorry about the change again, my stepdad got ahold of my livejournal and now knows the following.

> i've had sex
> i've smoked pot
> i've gotten shitfaced.


thus the privacy needs. anyone who's read this before is welcome to continue, if you haven't, there's a good chance that i won't.

Where do i wish i was?: in my baby's arms
How am I?: overwhelmed and invaded
What do i listen to?: law and order